Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
