Nicole vs. Life
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
