You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
