Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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