Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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