So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
