Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize