There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Someone signed my nipple.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize