He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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