i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
