I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
