good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
