No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
