My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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