so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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