my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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