You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
