Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
