that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
