We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
