Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
