I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
