Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
