p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Small penises have feelings too.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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