Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
