yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
