She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
