So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
