Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
