I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
