He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I see more hoeing in ur future
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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