I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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