none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
