Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
