I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
