Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
