Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
it's like iHOP with fire
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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