New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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