My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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