So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
