Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
