the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
