He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he puts the penis in happiness.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize