Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
