What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
