Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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