I swear she didn't look like that last week.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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