Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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