gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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