I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize