I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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