If i come over, it means nothing
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
