i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
