Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
