Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry snewby hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.

Fav 2 1302 3337
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way

Fav 5 864 2738
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(803): View more from South Carolina

i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.

Fav 15 1851 4859
share tweet
(845): View more from New York

For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail

Fav 6 4463 825
share tweet
(780): View more from Alberta, CA

We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna

Fav 14 2021 4711
share tweet
(972): View more from Texas

Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?

Fav 11 5431 1621
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(254): View more from Texas

His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!

Fav 15 5225 2127
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(207): View more from Maine

I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.

Fav 6 1096 753
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(714): View more from California

I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.

Fav 2 22 86
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT