Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
