I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
