I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
