When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
