Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
