The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
