even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
