Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize