Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
