I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
