what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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