I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
