I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
