I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
