i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
