On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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