I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
