Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
