he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
