Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Operation Purity has been aborted
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
