some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
