Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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