I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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