There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
