just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
