he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
