can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
