Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
